To Robert Scoble, Qualcomm’s new Gimbal SDK represents the future of the cell phone. Maybe. According to Scoble, it also foreshadows problems for Apple because the iOS platform doesn’t give developers as much access to the hardware as the competition.¹ I’m not so sure about that, either, but it’s not what I want to talk about.

Qualcomm’s marketing video is so full of marketing bullshit it’s repulsive and hilarious at the same time. You should really watch it.

This thing clearly sells itself! After all, everybody wants rich contextual awareness through dynamic features and a progressive user interest graph.

And Gimbal can even send you enlightened, relevant, context-rich push notifications!

It doesn’t end there. Gimbal also offers amazing enhanced product interaction, enabled by image scanning, (…) highly customizable controls, designed to offer effective security and privacy features, and it even has an advanced power conservation management ability.

Who wouldn’t want to develop with this thing?

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Consumers will no longer have to deal with the annoyance of being bombarded by irrelevant clutter-producing advertisements.

Instead, be prepared to receive

a promotional family discount for [your] usual family pizza order through a context-rich push notification, … sense[d] [by] Gimbal’s high-tech geofencing feature,

whenever your make the mistake of accidentally driving by a restaurant. Brave new world.